The Morning That Made Me Realize I didn’t have to keep going at 100 MPH 

There was a morning when I realized I had been riding myself empty.

My toddler was crying because I didn’t allow him to eat candy for breakfast. The sink was full of dishes from the night before due to lack of energy and motivation to clean. My phone buzzed with a reminder for therapy later that afternoon. I remember looking around our living room — toys scattered, half-folded laundry on the couch and dog hair, EVERYWHERE. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my days at home with Alaric. I just didn’t feel like I conquered them, more like they conquered me.

That morning, after too many like it, I decided I didn’t want to live in survival mode anymore. I wanted slowness. I wanted peace. I wanted everything to be calm.

And to find it, I didn’t need to do more. I actually needed to do less.

The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything

I am a very active person, always have been. I remember my dad would wake us up fairly early in the summers to go out and play tennis or go somewhere as a family. For so long, I thought being a “good mom” meant being productive and doing a lot while keeping everything running, making every moment meaningful, saying yes to every opportunity. 

Even when I was pregnant, I was working full time as a Physical Therapist lifting elderly people. I attended concerts, heck I eloped and hiked up a mountain for the first look at sunrise! That has always been my personality and way of life. Our culture here in America is also pretty fast paced. 

But the same strive in motherhood was what was stealing my calm and peace.

When I finally stopped asking “How can I fit more in?” and started asking “What can I let go of?, that’s when things began to change.

Simplifying wasn’t just about decluttering toys and clothes or making fewer plans. It was about prioritizing what truly mattered in this season of life. It was about giving myself permission to rest, to slow down, to stop trying to perfect motherhood and just live it, presently.

How I Simplified Our Days

Here are the small but powerful shifts that brought peace into my mind and body. 

1. I created “anchors,” not schedules.

I used to think the key to calm was having a predictable schedule. If you have kids, you know that nothing about them is predictable. What an unrealistic expectation I had. Now, instead of planning every hour, I focus on a few anchors that ground our day: cooking breakfast together, music class, outdoor time, and winding down before bed.

Everything else flows around those moments and there isn’t a hard “start” time or “end” time. Just time. My nervous system began to calm and so did my toddler’s tantrums.

2. I decluttered our time, not just our space.

I had to declutter toys and closets, but wasn’t used to decluttering the calendar. When I started saying “no” (to myself) more often, I noticed something I already knew deep down: my energy came back.

Now, we leave space for unplanned moments. I provide Alaric with autonomy and power to help me plan the day. In the morning, I would ask him if he wanted to go out or stay in. Before he would always want to go out but lately, he’s been opting to stay in. When he does, phew, one less day to plan. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love going out and doing things with Alaric. I firmly believe life should be spent doing things. But there is also beauty in connecting at home and slowing down the days. 

3. We do one to two TV shows a day.

It’s not perfect because I’d love to be completely screen free but sometimes I would like to use the bathroom in peace. Or cook something without a toddler trying to hurt himself over the stove. The majority of our day is without background noise or distractions.

It has helped my son play more creatively and make me feel more present. I’ve set my phone down somewhere (and oftentimes lose track of it) in order to be more present and less distracted. In the day of technology, social media and constant dopamine hits, this was a hard habit to break. 

4. I simplified meals.

For years, I thought “good moms” cooked something new every night because that’s how my mom did it. Now, I have a weekly recurring dinner, tacos. And then the rest, maybe something I’ve made before or something new since I love to cook. Without a doubt, I will always have left overs for either lunch or dinner the next day to lighten the load of fresh meals daily. 

5. I protect rest like an appointment.

My rest used to be the first thing I sacrificed. Now, I schedule it like I would a meeting or appointment. Before, I would feel guilty for napping while Alaric napped because there was always something to do, laundry, dishes, meal prep, you name it. 

But part of slowing down, I learned to listen to my body. If I didn’t have a good night’s rest because Alaric didn’t have a good night’s rest, I would nap without judgement and guilt when he would the next day. I reasoned that whatever chores needed to get done will still be there when I woke up. 

Learning to give myself patience and grace was one of the things that required effort from me, daily. 

What Changed

Now, our days feel lighter. There’s more oxygen.

Mornings aren’t less hectic, but they’re slower. My coffee stays warm more often. My son laughs more. I no longer rush him through routines just to “get things done” and get out the door before his nap. 

By doing less, I started feeling more, more connection, more gratitude, more joy in the small, ordinary moments that used to slip by unnoticed. I started to appreciate being a SAHM more because I wouldn’t get this if I was working. On the days I do work, I do feel the difference between the paces. 

Simplifying didn’t make life smaller. It made it more impactful.

Remember… 

If you’re reading this and craving calm but don’t think you can achieve it, start small.

You don’t need to overhaul your whole life overnight. Just pick one thing you can let go of today, one “should,” one task, one expectation that’s weighing you down. The less weight you carry, the lighter you feel. 

Peace doesn’t arrive when everything is perfect and busy with fun activities. It shows up when we stop trying to do it all and start being fully present, in the life we already have. Live each day, in that day. 

You deserve slow days, warm coffee, and deep breaths. You won’t have many opportunities to slow down your life so really live in the moment. 

You deserve calm and it’s more achievable than you think. Let me know in the comments what other ways you stay present and in the moment. What helped you calm your days while still feeling like you accomplished enough.